Heaven

The other day I woke up and a song was stuck in my mind. Actually it was a song I have not heard in a few years, so I was surprised that I was thinking about it. Yet, I woke up thinking about this song. Common had a song on his album "Like Water for Chocolate" called "GeTo Heaven". I play it again as I write this blog, to receive some of my inspiration. Anyway, he had one phrase that he would keep repeating "Geto Heaven...finding heaven in yourself and God." In the second part of song, he's speaking to a woman about NOT relying on a man in order to be happy. While he understands that we can get lonely, and want companionship from a man, he should not complete you. He encourages her to find heaven in herself and God....

Alice Walker wrote a novel called, In Search of Our Mother's Garden. I had to read an excerpt of the novel for my Intro to Women's Studies class. It was a remarkable piece, enough to bring tears to my eyes. In the introduction of the novel, Walker explains what "Womanism" is. She defined womanism in many different ways. I am sure you do not want the entire definition she wrote. Yet, one part stuck to me, she plainly stated how a womanist, "Loves herself. Regardess."
Ironically I heard the song and read for class in the same day, which helped me realize the heaven that I have within myself. Many women have not found heaven in themselves. They have not been able to separate their love for men and love for themselves. Don't get me wrong, I love men very much. Especially my Black brothers. Yet, I cannot neglect to take care of ME. I cannot allow my soul to suffer simply because a man has disappointed or hurt me. After all, I have heaven within myself...let me explain what I mean by this heavenly place.

Heaven within yourself is recognizing how awesome you are. Heaven within yourself implies that you recognize the challenge before you, but you face it anyway, with a smile on your face. Heaven means talking to God, and allowing Him time to talk to you. Finding your heaven means finding your inner peace. This heavenly place will not allow others to hinder your growth or abuse your power as a woman. Also, finding heaven means being your own best friend. When you have Heaven, the simplest tasks give you pleasure. You know, driving through the country, cooking dinner for yourself, or reading something that changes your perspective. Usually when I am eating lunch or dinner, I will make my plate, go upstairs and watch TV in my room. Yet, the other day, I tried something a little different. I sat in the kitchen with the blinds and windows open, allowing the sunlight to brighten the room. I did not watch TV nor did I have my Ipod shuffle on (you know I usually have my Ipod on rotation). I just sat in silence, eating my lunch with nothing but the sunlight to keep me company. Some of you may be thinking, "That sounds boring to me!" Yet, I was not bored...I was getting in touch with my heaven…in contact with God...allowing my mind to wander...realizing how awesome I am (without a man telling me)...in other words, I came in contact with my personal joy.

Many may wonder what makes me a "feminist" or "womanist". Of course, the assumption is that I am a lesbian or that I hate men. Yet, those are two major fallacies. I love men, and I appreciate the contributions they have made in my life and the world. I simply recognize power women have. There is a special connection I have with other women that I do not have with men. Also, because I love myself, I love being a woman, regardless of the circumstances that come into my life that challenge that love. If I use what Common said, that's how I know that I am finding heaven in myself and God....

Yes, at times, I do get disappointed when things do not work out with a man that I really like. Of course, I wonder why a man rarely stayed in my life. Yet, I am happy just being me. Surprisingly, I found peace in "heaven in myself and God". Nothing else gives me more joy or satisfaction. So, while "he" (whoever HE may be…) may not see the kind of woman I am and may not be in my life for long, I know the heaven I have WITHOUT "him" because the happiness I receive from my heaven is enough to sustain me and keep a smile on my face.
So ladies, I challenge you to find happiness within yourself. I urge you to look beyond the arms of a man to find happiness, joy and peace. Do NOT let anyone take away your pride, you power or your personal joy. Allow yourself to love who YOU are and what YOU can contribute. Do NOT let the world or a man dictate your worth. I recommend that you take Common's advice and "find heaven in yourself and God".