Ode to Feminism

"Do you consider yourself a feminist?"

Typically, I shy away from this question. On one hand, I do not want to be accused of being a man-hating lesbian. Often when people ask you this question, they already have preconcieved notions of what the term "feminist" means. Let me tell you exactly what they see in their minds when they think of feminists: ugly, hairy, aggressive, angry, politically liberal, tree-hugging, vegan-eating lesbians. I have no idea where this image came from, but somehow it became embedded into the psyche of several people. Including individuals I have a lot of contact with.

So, usually when this question arises through the course of a conversation, I tend to change the subject. Or I give the typical, safe anwser, "You know what, I do not know." But I realized that this anwser is actually false. I know it is false from the moment I say it. I started to wonder, why are we so ashamed of this dreaded F'word? Even though we do not call it feminism, aren't our ideologies and principals considered "feminism"?

Today I was at the book store. I wanted to get out of the house for a little bit and read some articles for my thesis. Well, I picked up this book, "Full Frontal Feminism". At first the title caught me off guard. I was so in the closet about my feminism that I was actually afraid to pick up the book in front of everyone. Yet, I took my chances and hid it with the rest of the books I picked up.

Once I sat down and started reading the book, I was hooked. The author was so raw, candid, and intelligent that I almost read the whole book right there in the store. She mentioned some very interesting things that are worth pointing out to those who are afraid to pick up and open a book that had the F'word on the cover. First, she mentioned how liberating it was once she realized she was a feminist. I know what you are thinking, "How the heck can you equate liberation with feminism?" Using her line of logic, you could easily do it. It had nothing to do with burning bras (which is actually a myth..never happened.), not shaving, being a lesbian, wanting to be a man, or crazy white women with nothing to do. She defined it simply as wanting justice and equality for women, which I totally agree with. Also, she claims it is liberating because feminism allows you to totally disregard the negative stereotypes of womenhood or beauty. Again, I was totally with her on that.

Feminism, or the dreaded F'bomb, isn't something that we should be ashamed of. Do not get it twisted, I am looking the mirror when I say it too. Black women do not want to be labeled as such because they do not want to "emasculate black men". How in the world are you emasculating THEM? As long as they have a penis with some balls to keep them company, they will not be emasculated. Additionally, why is our status contigent upon how men feel? Why can't we have something that speaks for us that has nothing to do with them? Do not get me wrong, I love my men very much. However, I also think that we need to stop thinking of them before we think of ourselves. Why do you think we are in the mess we are in in the first place? We are too busy trying to take up the battles of them AND us. While they are struggling with the fight against racism, we are battling the two evils of race and sex, not to mention class. So if I'm guilty of emasculating my brothers, I do apologize. But I will still consider myself a feminist.

God forbid, if a black women were to say she a feminist, she would be charged with demolishing the black family. Correct me if I'm wrong, but I do not think feminism has broken up the black family. First of all, brothers and sisters do not know how to really communicate with one another. Coupled with the fact that we are quick to have sexual relations before we have any commitment to one another. Then we have to consider that we have less positive images of the Black family ( other than the Cosby show). Of course, then we have to add the economic difficulities within our community that makes it difficult to sustain a family. Oh yeah, and that pesky racism and sexim in our society that pins black men and black women against one another. THEN, the fact that we are upholding European ideals over African ones. Oh yeah, then the fact that our boys are being raised by women instead of men. I could go on and on. But, feminism has nothing to do with it. But, like this author mentions in this book, feminism is blamed for everything from global warming to terriorism. But honestly, a little bit a feminism in our families could go a long way.

Or, we think feminism is the "white woman's" thing. I beg to differ. I would argue that black women are the orginal feminists. All our historical figures upheld feminist principals, even without being labled as such. Of course, they were fighting for racial equality as well, but they were also fighting against sexism. Let us not get it twisted, the white women got on OUR bandwagon, we did not get on theirs. They simply put a name to a principal we were already upholding through our actions. From the moment we started fighting against slavery, Jim Crow laws, lynchings, and unequal education proves my point: black women have always been feminists. What makes us unique is the fact that we have to battle racism and class as well. But yes my sistahs, we were feminists too.

The point is: we shouldn't be afraid of something we already believe in. Be honest with yourself. You embrace the ideologies of feminsim, even if you don't say you are a feminist. But I want to let you know that it's alright. You can be beautiful, feminine, intelligent, caring, and thoughtful all while being a feminist. I propose that we alter the definition of "feminism" as a liberating experience instead of a confining one. Feminism looks completely different on me than it would on you. But nonetheless, it's an amazing label to have.

It does not mean I am a lesbian, ugly, aggressive, or hairy. Quite frankly, I am a beautiful, sexy heterosexual, nonconfrentational woman who simply believes women should recieve the justice they deserve. It doesn't mean I'm a bitch, even if you want to call me that. But if it means that women are the center of my political and social analysis, then I am. If it means that I hate the fact that 1 out of 4 women are raped or molested in their lifetimes, then I suppose I am. If it means that I do not agree with a bunch of old white men in Congress deciding on what I should do with my body, then I suppose I am. If it means that my heart jumps for joy when I see women succeed in a patriarchal society, then you can label me as such. If it means that I admire those who choose to explore their sexuality within their gender, then I will accept that I am a feminist. If it means that I love to see women redefining their beauty regardless of the negative stereotypes placed in our media, then I guess I'll be that annoying feminist. If it means that I believe studying women will open the door to studying humanity, then I'll carry the F'bomb. If being a feminist means that I love being a woman, then I will embrace that.

I'm tired of saying and hearing, "I'm not a feminist but..." It's about time I allow my true colors to shine, because it is nothing to be ashamed of. As I've stated before, sometimes you need to just call a spade a spade. As a matter of fact, I consider it liberating as well. So embrace the feminist in you. It's alright. Then you too can be liberated.